oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
