So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
