Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
did i walk over a car last night?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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