Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
