Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
