I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
