I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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