btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
