She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
