i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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