I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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