I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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