But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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