So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
