Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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