last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
