just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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