I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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