i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
