Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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