He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Green mimosas i think yes
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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