please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
