I want to make a zoo with you.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
