Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
