nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
