if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
