There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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