I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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