Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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