i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
