Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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