I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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