singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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