OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
