Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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