There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I believe in your delicious
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
