I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
