haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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