I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
