Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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