Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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