I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
