How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
