In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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