I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
