question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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