Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
