so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
