Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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