um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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