I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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