i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize