I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
