You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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